1994: directed by Matthew Longfellow

The curtains part over a massive stage set with giant lampshades and stuff. It's live, at the Alexandra Palace. A fucking huge crowd throbs and emotes under the disco balls and it's just magic. The Author always wonders how crowds this size manage to enjoy themselves; any crowd larger than 400 people completely dehumanises the band, and what are those people in the 600000th row thinking and feeling?

"You Give Love A Bad Name", Blur...

Alex is sitting down while he plays. Playing bass is hard. You try it.

Damon sprays the crowd with water and jumps three feet straight in the air. The audience is in heaven. What's forty feet long, has no pubes, and goes "eeeee!"? The front row of this video. Except that they all look fairly mature, at least at this show. They all sing along with every word. Thousands and millions of people. Eeeeeee. Can you blame them?

"Sex on the TV - everybody's at it," sings Damon, rolling his eyes expansively. Yes, we know, Damon, especially you. You'd like to be at it right now. Eeeeeee.

Alex finally stands up, if only to give greater range to shaking his hair.

The crowd is gi-normous. It goes on and on into infinity. An infinity of sparkling, gyrating, sweating, singalong Blur Love. Eeeeee.

Graham can also jump three feet straight in the air. Rock it, Graham! Damon jumps off PAs, twirls the microphone by its cord, leaps and stalks. Graham is wearing the sexy Cheryl T-shirt, but no glasses. The Author can understand the logic of this decision.

Dave wears the Toronto ringer T-shirt - oh Lordy he's so sexy! Eeeeee! O Canada, we stand on guard for theeeeee!

And Damon stagedives in triple perspective, coming, falling, leaping, falling, becoming one with the crowd, getting in touch, throwing caution to the wind, throwing himself at the audience. He is caught by six dozen hands and cuddled and supported and molested and raped and worshipped and he lies still for all of it like this is what he was born to do, that he has to touch as many people as he can, have as many people as possible touch him in whatever way they like, he has to TOUCH them. He cares nothing for his own safety. It doesn't even come into his mind. He just wants to be out there. Eeeeeeee!

And in the end he actually manages to say "thank you". No, Damon, thank you. Thank you for everything you've given us. We love you. WE LOVE YOU DAMON EEEEEEEEE!

CUTE FACTOR: not very, except for the T-shirts.
VIDEO QUALITY: live. Lots of crowd shots.
FUCKED UP FACTOR: half a lager before showtime.
OVERALL GRADE: C-