1996: directed by Matthew Longfellow

Almost two years passed between this and "End of a Century", but it's practically the exact same video, although this one was shot at the G-Mex in Manchester. However, this is a live video synched to the album track, so... er... whatever. Who is this Matthew Longfellow guy? It'd be cool if it were just a pseudonym for a band member, like Nathaniel Hornblower for Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys ("longfellow" - geddit?) but apparently it's not.

Blur on a huge set. Damon spazzing, blue T-shirt, jeans. Graham, no glasses. Huge fucking crowd. Alex in a black long-sleeved T-shirt. Damon spritzing himself with seltzer (we hope). Damon bouncing in the demilitarised zone between the stage and the crowd while security try to hold him upright. Dave in a black Jurassic Park T-shirt, doing his job. Damon feeling himself up under his T-shirt, showing off his yummy abs. The set has huge burgers on it! Damon's in the demilitarised zone, smiling at the annoyed and panicky security. His expression reads, "I'm mad! I've got a head full of E's! I'm mad!" Damon jumping ten feet off of something. The crowd going berserk. Damon holding the microphone up to the crowd. Damon doing hip swivels which apparently cause him some pain. Or something. Damon patting some guy in the front row. Damon licking his lips (this time, in the "ooh baby feel the velvet" way). The crowd bounces in unison. Damon's shoes are really exciting! The Author cannot tell what brand they are! They look like some kind of mutant Adidas. Alex plays bass, looking bored. Damon hits himself in the head. Damon testifies. Damon performs some kind of simulated fuck dance. Damon jumps four feet straight into the air from a standstill. More jazz hands than you can shake a stick at. Damon sprays the crowd with water. Etc. Etc.

Last shot: a neon sign: "BED & BREAKFAST - VACANCIES - WIFE SWAPPING"

CUTE FACTOR: medium/low.
VIDEO QUALITY: live. Blur live is a wonderful thing, but concert videos in general are not the Author's bag.
FUCKED UP FACTOR: Damon is on fire. Cocaine? Everyone else seems workmanlike.
OVERALL GRADE: C