Breaking Up With Einstein (1994)
it's hard to leave a one who dances even
to the ticking of a clock
(and badly, I might add)
wrestling around the past,
wishing
only to slip a right turn and change
what went before,
to change what world is now in present.
Nonetheless, theory is supreme. Compared
to the whizzing of catgut strings,
I began to remain alone and fixed;
crushed beneath the widespread toes
of intellect. I could not compete with the
fixed nature of time. What's past is past.
No other future is particularly possible.
This process requires compression.
I must compress time and space; compress
the size of our shared universe,
all flickers of candlelight and nature of mind,
down to the size
of merely mine.
Clive Barker (March 1995)
I love you, I love you, I love you, what's your name? -- Sonic
Youth
that is no cunt,
that is my heart you pound
your fisted cock into.
the doctors call it
a massage.
It shocks me out of death.
Your mouth is your sex,
your genetically tunnelled tongue
a stamen;
indelicate
the words for names you taught me.
I have your words
beating in my body
Wilde (June 29, 1998)
the contrast between the grey
slats and slime of prison
and the opulence of hotel
drawing rooms, hotel rooms,
full of reclining and straining
boys; Bosie, and others,
not Oscar, Oscar smoking,
looking on with bemusement
as if to know already
of the depths of shaky hands,
agony, carefully arranged spoon and plate.
not enough for me,
the quivering excuses, the trembling,
the dark and saddened eyes.
A fool for love. Classic fool.
Fool for the ages, a sucker,
drawn into the tidepool of beautiful
hair, eyes, lips, suits, ass, mania.
It looks like it was fun
for a while -- but worth it?
travis (June 2000)
nice Travis
sad Travis
nice suit and tie and shoes Travis
mouth like dried honey Travis
intense Travis
interested Travis
who the fuck is this Travis
everywhere and nowhere Travis
troubled Travis
nice eyes Travis
really nice eyes Travis
sent home alone Travis
no home Travis
nowhere and everywhere Travis
nice to see you again, Travis
there's something about Travis
world tour casualty Travis
don't think seriously about Travis
not serious Travis
ephemeral Travis
not really all there Travis
diluted Travis
not really that cute Travis
madness cooked down Travis
don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do, Travis?
desperate but not serious Travis
unexpected Travis
in my house Travis
in my arms Travis
warm and constant hugging Travis
fuck me without a condom and I don't want you to stop Travis
never stop Travis
good night Travis
good morning Travis
never Travis
at the corner of my eye Travis
nowhere in particular Travis
sometimes Travis
try not to get weird about Travis
despite dreams and desires Travis
seemingly everywhere I look I see Travis
and yet nowhere nonexistent Travis
and yet thoughts and hearts of Travis
never quite Travis
forget Travis
ephemeral earthbound angel boy Travis
ungraspable as a feather Travis
let it fall Travis
let it fall Travis
do not bother dare presume to hope
shite poems
Another Cute Poem
suffice it to say
The world is made of shit
from top to bottom and stem to stern
this lesson took a lifetime to learn
all roads lead to an unlikely end,
not only the unexpected but stupider than imagined
even in the darkest hours
the heads cut off the flowers
and the petals decaying to ineffable mulch
suffice it to say
that you are made of gold
cuttable, gleaming, amalgams of light,
something i discover every night
i lean out over the chasm to touch your hand
do you wonder at this? my will to die for you?
if only for a momentary glimpse of blue
and a moment's touch of your flesh
i lean out over the gulch.
suffice it to say
that i don't know what i mean,
but that i hate every one of god's blessed beasts
except you,
and i made you up
untitled (probably 1995)
the groovers roam about tonight
they spit and pose in satyricon light
buy beer for minors
the best years behind us
fucked my last chance to get it right
untitled (1996)
Jay & Tim & Glenn & Nick
Brian Brian Brian
Christian Loren Stephen Owen
Ryan Ryan Ryan
Fuck you
I loved you
Fuck you
I loved you
No good
Never good
it's gone
gimme the gun
throw up, slit my wrist, take a lot of speed
Star Trek crosswords I can't sleep
give my soul to watch you smile
it's worse when you're nice to me for a little while
Snap out of it
Why don't you
Snap out of it
Why don't you
I never want to be...
I only want to be...
I never want tobe...
not good enough for me